12 Key Aims in Relational Psychodynamic Therapy
Key Aims in Therapy
This is a list of 12 aims or goals of therapy, specifically relational psychotherapy or relational psychodynamic therapy. These twelve principles are derived from Roy Barsness’ Core Competencies of Relational Psychoanalysis (2018).
Increased capacity to feel the full range of human emotion, and hold multiple affective states
Increased access to multiple aspects of the Self, without shame
Increased ability to comfort and self-sooth
Increased ability to accept responsibility
The ability to tolerate ambiguity and uncertainty
Ability to be more truthful with one’s self
The ability to think more creatively about one’s past, rather than recreate and repeat it
Relief from internal constraints or beliefs that have become problematic
A more imaginative and creative mind
Increased capacity to love and to work, self-efficacy
The ability to engage in more meaningful and restorative relationships
Hope
The Increased Capacity to Feel the Full Range of Human Emotion
As one of the 12 core goals in therapy– we are striving to achieve access to the full range of human emotion. Society does not encourage the expression of certain emotions, and we are often told to bottle up specific, perceived negative emotions in our families through subtle communication. One of the main tasks of relational psychotherapy, and psychoanalytic therapy, is to learn how to access and feel all these emotions– and without being completely controlled by, or purely react to them. The task in therapy is to sit with the feelings as they arise, understand where they are coming from, and learn to listen to what they are telling us. Over time in therapy, you can hope to gain better awareness of emotions that you may not even know you are carrying, and increase your ability to manage and react to them.
Increased Access to Multiple Aspects of the Self
This key task in therapy, allows one to get in touch with parts of the self. We often disavow, forget, or close off parts of our Self, and neglect them. But neglecting these aspects of our Self, does not make them go away– and can serve as the fodder for mental health issues and suffering. Gaining better access to all parts of the Self, can open one up to integrating towards a fuller sense of sSelf, and greater self-understanding and knowledge.
Increased Ability to Comfort and Self-Soothe
For those who have trouble with comforting one’s self or self-soothing– therapy is a great benefit to learning how to do so. By creating a safe and nurturing space in the therapy room, patients learn to not only gain self understanding and emotional competence, but also better methods for dealing with intense and painful emotions and sensations. This is a hard and long process that requires trust in the therapist and the patient’s self. Over time, through therapy, you can learn to soothe your own anxiety and learn to calm the emotional storms.
Increased Ability to Accept Responsibility
Another of the key aims and intents in therapy, is a greater recognition and taking up of one’s responsibility. Patients often come in with stories punctuated by shame, trauma, and guilt. Responsibility is not blaming the patient, but a way of coming to an understanding of the role we play in our own lives and relationships. Taking responsibility does not mean taking all the blame or victimizing oneself. It means to take up and carry that which we truly are capable of carrying, and knowing our way of relating in relationships, and how we contribute to dynamics and issues in our lives. Through relational psychotherapy, you can gain a healthier relationship to yor own responsibility, and thus gain greater freedom over how you wish to live and move through the world.
The Ability to Tolerate Ambiguity and Uncertainty
One of the most difficult aspects of life to sit with, is the inherent uncertainty and ambiguity of existence. Life is full of ups and downs, but also a dearth of gray. Certainty is rare, and ambiguity abounds throughout our daily lives. Therapy seeks to help you learn to better sit with and cope with the inherent and inescapable uncertainty and ambiguity. Tolerance is built through consistent sitting with and exposure to these uncomfortable feelings. Psychotherapy gets uncomfortable at times, and this is where true growth and change begins to manifest and occur. If you are looking to build a greater tolerance for ambiguity and uncertainty in your life– I highly recommend seeing someone to help assist you in this process.
Ability to Be More Truthful With One’s Self
Honesty with oneself and one’s emotions is a key aim in relational psychotherapy. “The greatest sources of our suffering are the lies that we tell ourselves” (Bessel Van der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score). Discovering and shedding light on these lies, helps us to uncover the truth about ourselves and our pain. As the old saying goes– the truth will set you free– but it’s going to hurt a little first. As therapists, we model this level of honest discourse and curiosity about the whole of one’s self. And it is through emotional honesty and opening up that we can gain greater knowledge about ourselves and our issues. Being honest with oneself and one’s emotions is not easy, but it brings a stronger sense of self and integrity in one’s Being. Relational psychotherapy is the place to practice this level of honesty, and can help one uncover their own truth.
The Ability to Think More Creatively About One’s Past, Rather Than Repeat It
What often brings us to therapy, is getting stuck in old familiar situations, places, or habits. We find ourselves repeating patterns in relationships and in our lives that are destructive, harmful, or self-defeating. Many of us often feel as though we will be haunted by our past, and unable to overcome these ghosts that haunt. But the past is alive in the present, and thus can and is shaped by our now. Our past shapes us, but it does not have to chain us to a way of Being-in-the-world. We can understand our past, and find new ways to think about it and look at it. We can change our perspective and relation to our past, and shape it with new memories and experiences. This is an incredibly complex, but beautifully relieving and releasing process that is one of the major endeavors undergone in therapy.
Relief from Internal Constraints or Beliefs that have Become Problematic
We all have internal beliefs that echo throughout our daily lives. Some become constrictive and hinder us in our relationships or personal strivings. Usually, it is these core beliefs or constraints that cause distress, anxiety, or feelings of depression, amongst others. Our task in therapy is to examine our core internal beliefs, and see how they might be putting us in a bind. The work can be arduous, as some of these are buried deep, and are invisible to us as we move throughout our days. Through relational psychotherapy, we can observe these beliefs and internal chorus emerge between therapist and patient, and within the happenings of daily life. These beliefs and narratives can be changed, and we cn write new internal choruses. And it is through the Other, that we can see outside of ourselves, and change these beliefs, and strengthen the ones that are helpful.
A More Imaginative and Creative Mind
One of the greatest benefits and outcomes of long-term psychotherapy is the development and nurturing of one’s own creativity and imagination. This happens through the continual thinking, emotional processing, and perspective taking that takes place in relational therapy. By exploring issues, questions, problems, concerns, and the history of our lives and relationships– we learn to move through the world in new and adaptive ways. With the help of a therapist's mind, we learn to stretch and grow our own minds. We develop new ways of seeing the world, sour relationships, and ourselves. It may seem like a lofty goal or intent in therapy– but it is attainable with the right fit, and the time and effort.
Increased Capacity to Love and Work
This was Freud’s definition of mental healthiness– finding meaning and passion in one’s love and work. This is the ultimate aim of all forms of therapy, and looks different from person to person. Finding an increased capacity to love and to work arises out of greater self-understanding and relationships. We don’t just love and work for ourselves– the main reason we have any capacity for either is due to the Other and relationships. It may seem far-off, or impossible. But, everyone can find meaning in their work, and greater capacity for love in their relationships and life.
To Engage in More Meaningful and Restorative Relationships
Another of the m12 intents in therapy, is helping the patient to engage in more meaningful and restorative relationships. Relational psychotherapy is primarily focused on how we show up in relationship with one another, and examining how these dynamics play out and cause disruption or hinder us in our daily lives. Working through both intrapersonal and interpersonal issues requires a solid foundation, and a strong therapeutic alliance and working relationship. Through genuine encounter and relationship, you can learn to set boundaries for yourself or change old ways of relating that are no longer aiding you. You might find that many of your relationships are not fulfilling or as deep as you had previously thought. You might find that you already had people in your life that you could engage with and feel restored by, that had not received your attention, focus, or care. Developing more enriching and enlivening relationships, is a core aim in relational psychotherapy, and is the heart of a strong therapeutic relationship.
Hope
The last and hardest at times to reach aim or intent in therapy, is that of hope. Finding hope , especially in the midst of a crisis, or a dark night of the soul– seems like an impossible feat. Nevertheless, both patient and therapist seek to find a glimmer of hope in that darkness, and can use that hope as a guiding light– a way out of the seemingly never-ending pain or suffering. This hope must be built on solid ground, as we can not merely hope for hope’s sake– as that often leads only to despair or even true hopelessness. Hope though, is not found in isolation, it is found in the meaningful engagement between two individuals in a genuine meeting of hearts and minds.
If you wish to read more about this idea, please check out The Core Competencies of Relational Psychoanalysis by Roy Barsness